[Magic櫻專欄] LIVE IN TICC:盧廣仲走紅的背後 - 盧廣仲CrowdLu
By Hedwig
at 2009-05-11T14:41
at 2009-05-11T14:41
Table of Contents
資料來源:http://tinyurl.com/rxsryd
去年,我在豆瓣上發了一個帖子,名為《一星報道處》,表達了我對盧廣仲處子大碟
《100種生活》憤怒之情。沒想到這竟是我在豆瓣全年點擊最高、回覆最多的一貼。
面對我的質疑,豆友們紛紛群起攻之,認為我耳朵進水,腦子有毛病,就差沒有把我像朱
莉那樣犯第12條送進精神病院去了。
而後,在今年年初參加的華語音樂傳媒大獎的初審中,談及年度新人的一項,主持人郵差
冷不丁地冒出一句:“對於盧廣仲,貌似小櫻評委有不同的意見。”慘了,我就這樣被擺
上台,然後硬著頭皮又再次涮了一次盧小隊長,結果又遭來包括廣州教父邱大
立、《南方都市報》資深名記黃銳海等同行前輩們的尖銳反擊。
但我依舊堅持,盧廣仲盛名之下,其實難副。尤其是我在看了《欺詐遊戲》後,那個一次
又一次地虐待女主角的大反角福永,讓我對蘑菇頭更加深惡痛絕。是我太out了嗎?
是我沒法接受新鮮事物了嗎?近日,盧廣仲發行了他的現場錄音專輯《LIVE IN TICC》,
聽完之後,我得到了答案。
實話實說,這是我聽到的最糟糕的一張現場錄音之一。如果說錄音室專輯還能掩蓋盧廣仲
在各方面非專業性的缺陷,那在live裡面,這些都盡顯無疑:演唱基本功不過關,高音破
音無數,從咬字到真假音轉換甚至是每一個普通轉音,他的處理都非常業餘。根本無法想
像這是在開大型演唱會,這種表演以往只可能存在於大學校園、孤寡老人院的文藝演出裡
。可大家卻都像著了魔一樣瘋狂——前奏響起,你們歡呼;盧廣仲唱出第一句,你們歡呼
;盧廣仲忘詞,你們歡呼;盧廣仲高音唱破,你們歡呼;盧廣仲笑場,你們歡呼;盧廣仲
莫名其妙地大喊“yeah”,你們歡呼。聽著全場齊聲高喊,“對啊對啊,對啊對啊啊”,
這已經讓我聯想到邪教或傳銷組織(原PO:哈哈這什麼形容阿!!)的威猛了。
就用主打歌《Rock'n roll的style》來說明問題吧。在這首歌當中,盧廣仲打破了漢語固
有的音律節奏,用口白到不能再白的歌詞敘說他某天早上的遭遇:肚子餓了,到了樓下的
一家早餐店,點了兩份早點,吃完還沒見飽,又沒帶多餘的錢,就一把將同學手上的早餐
搶過來吃掉。同學說,你幹嘛?他連同手勢一起,大喊一聲,“Rock”!搶同學早餐這等
事情,相信各位年輕時都有做過,還有同類型各種怪誕且拉風的事,但盧小隊長把它唱了
出來,且用一種最通俗易懂、最沒有技術含量的方式。當然,他的副歌部分還保持了一定
的傳唱性,“每天都要吃早餐”充滿了E時代的煽動力。
這首看似即興成分相當高的《Rock'n roll 的style》,以其亂七八糟的歌詞、隨口哼唱的
旋律,成為本次錄音專輯的主打歌。但這一切的都充滿了多次排練的痕跡,故意的雕琢,
刻意地隨意,如同一山寨野雞的理髮師傅,拿著一把牙剪,故意地把你的頭髮修得參差不
齊,看起來又是那麼彆扭。尤其是,當你知道這一切,包括音樂之外的蘑菇頭、印著
“Sorry I'm late“的T恤、大黑框眼鏡、長筒橫條襪、白球鞋……
這一切看似隨意的打扮,統統都是盧廣仲及其製作團隊在唱片製作初期開了多少次會定下
來的東西,難道不會有一種受騙的感覺?
演唱會上,盧廣仲很識趣地翻唱了陳綺貞的《1234567》,還給陳老師戴上“台灣最會寫歌
的女生”的帽子。暫且不說這頂帽子合不合戴,但至少“台灣最會賺錢的女生”,陳綺貞
肯定有舍我其誰的氣勢。在盧廣仲背後,鍾成虎和陳綺貞這對夫婦已經完全吃透了華語流
行音樂歌迷的心理,他們把盧廣仲包裝成這幅kuso的態勢,也正是對準了當下歌迷年輕化
、鍾愛ACG文化、崇尚搞笑幽默與無釐頭的作品風格。
五月天在《嘿!我要走了》中唱到:“在這絢爛新世紀,深情已不受歡迎。”何止是深情
,新世紀裡不受歡迎的東西太多了:網遊取代了單機RPG、推倒胡踢走了老章、MP3消滅了
Diskman、彩鈴歌定義了Big Pop……所有的複雜、思考與感受都因不合適宜被淘汰,盧廣
仲正是大眾審美簡單化的產物。他把流行音樂的工藝精簡到最低,無論是旋律、歌詞、編
曲等一切的音樂元素統統都直奔主題,如《無敵鐵金剛》,對同樣題材的處理,他生活化
的歌詞、彈唱式的和絃安排,這些與時俱進的處理就比刺客樂隊要來得要討巧得多。這是
做音樂的態度,但態度不是一切,無需被拔高到某種程度,只能說盧廣仲在非偶像時代及
流行音樂的長尾中收穫了意料的意外。
讓我們回過頭來,再看看《100種生活》的宣傳文案吧。所謂“被公車輾過的音樂鬼才”,
不過就是一次偶然的小車禍而已,且從盧小隊長被車撞了之後還能有閒情逸致及足夠的體
力學吉他,看來這場車禍也不會嚴重到哪裡去,否則鍾成虎一定會在文案中大肆渲染,什
麼斷腿啊,腦癱啊,脊椎植物人啊,最後靠音樂才喚醒了他之類的,一直往天上吹。所謂
“母帶後期處理則送交美國多座葛萊美獎得主Bernie Grundman(柏尼·古朗曼)進行作業
,這位世界級大師對於對這張專輯錄音和混音的傑出稱讚不已,並對盧廣仲歌曲豐富的音
樂性大為讚賞”。這個就唬人了,熟悉陳老師的同學對柏尼·古朗曼肯定不會陌生,《太
陽》的後期就是他做的,不消說,早就是陳鐘夫婦的關係戶了。所謂的“‘廣’式自由唱
腔”,之前已有敘述,缺乏基礎,何談自由?真正的自由,去聽聽爵士鋼琴家
Keith Jarrett吧,他為ECM錄製的《Facing You》就是一張在錄音室完成的即興獨奏專輯
。沒有對照的樂譜,看似信手拈來,但裡頭的每一個段落樂章都滲透著KJ良好的古典涵養
,豐富的和聲效果更顯功底。但盧廣仲呢?抱歉,對於一個連基本功都差強人意的歌手,
他的所謂“自由”是那樣地蒼白無力。聽聽《啊!大岩壁》裡頭那橫插一腿的小號or薩克
斯,毫無相干,只為證明盧廣仲音樂的“天馬行空”,這不是止增笑耳!
盧廣仲在我眼中,只是一個大學時期百無聊賴因此學了兩手吉他的普通音樂愛好者,他根
本不是什麼奇才,什麼怪傑,連宅男都是人造的。這只是包裝,不過是包裝手法新穎時尚
罷了。“身體健康,也是一種rock & roll 的style”(《Rock'n roll 的 style》中的歌
詞),我對此表雙手贊成。在亞健康普遍盛行的時代,年輕人早睡早起、每天都堅持吃早
餐,絕對是一件特立獨行的事情,符合搖滾樂精神。但別忘了,除了吃早餐外,搖滾的事
情還有很多:在浮躁的時代保持處事嚴謹、在集體言論暴力的圍攻下堅持原則、在得過且
過的大環境中注重每一處細節。這些都是rock & roll 的style。
因此,我這輩子都不會喜歡盧廣仲,還有盧廣仲們。
因為我是一個Rocker。
--
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